10. Why it’s good to have five pairs of black shoes.9. The difference between cream, ivory, and off-white.8. Crying can be fun.7. FAT CLOTHES. 6. A salad, diet drink, and a hot fudge sundae make a balanced lunch.5. Discovering a designer dress on the clearance rack can be considered a peak life experience.4. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.3. A good man might be hard to find, but a good hairdresser is next to impossible.2. Why a phone call between two women never lasts under ten minutes.AND THE NUMBER ONE THING ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND:1. OTHER WOMEN!Send this on to all the women you are grateful to have as friends.
why did the man fall over? because he ran to fast
Michael barrymore has offered manchester united ï¿½1 million pounds to play as their striker because he wants 10 pricks behind him and 67,000 a******* jumping up and down.
An Alabamian came home and found his house on fire.
He rushed next door, telephoned the fire department and shouted,
“Hurry over here,muh house is on fahr!”
“OK,” replied the fireman, “how do we get there?”
“Shucks, don’t you fellers still have those big red trucks?”
Submitted by Calamjo Edited by Curtis
Roger and Charlie emerged from he clubhouse to tee off at the first hole, but Roger looked distracted. “Anything the matter?” Charlie asked. “Na, it’s just that I can’t stand the club pro,” Roger replied. “He’s just been trying to correct my stance.” “He’s only trying to help your game,” Charlie soothed. “Yeah, but I was using the urinal at the time.”
The Lambert’s were shown into the dentist’s office, where Mr. Lambert made it clear he was in a big hurry. “No fancy stuff, Doctor,” he ordered. “No gas or needles or any of that stuff. Just pull the tooth and get it over with.”
“I wish more of my patients were as stoic as you,” said the dentist admiringly. “Now, which tooth is it?”
Mr. Lambert turned to his wife Jenny: “Show him your tooth, Honey.”