Hubbard’s Law: Don’t take life too seriously; you won’t get out of it alive.
Leftover nuts never match leftover bolts.
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the
richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.
Anthony’s Law of Force: Don’t force it, get a larger hammer.
Experience is something you do not get until just after you need it.
Goebel’s Law Of Computer Support: Troubleshooting a computer over the telephone is like having sex through a hole in a board fence. It can be done, but it is neither easy nor pleasant.
Sayings you’d like to see on office inspirational posters:
If you do a good job and work hard, you may get a job with a better company someday.
The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts.
Sure, you may not like working here, but we pay your rent.
If you think we’re a bad firm, you should see our rivals!
Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings — they did it by killing all those who opposed them.
A person who smiles in the face of adversity … probably has a scapegoat.
ABANDON ALL HOPE, YE WHO ENTER HERE…..
We make great money! We have great benefits! We do no work! We are union members!
2 days without a Human Rights Violation!
If at first you don’t succeed — try management.
It’s only unethical if you get caught.
Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.
Never quit until you have another job.
Work harder slaves!
The beatings will continue until morale improves.
If you can read this, you’re not working!
Hang in there, retirement is only thirty years away!
Go the extra mile – It makes your boss look like an incompetent slacker.
Pride, commitment, teamwork — words we use to get you to work for free.
Succeed in spite of management.
Work: It isn’t just for sleeping anymore.
There are two kinds of people in life: people who like their jobs, and people who don’t work here anymore.
Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate.
If I your opinion, I’ll ask you to fill out the necessary form.
Ducharme’s Axiom: If you view your problem closely enough you will recognize yourself as part of the problem.